Knowing Your Worth from Song of Songs Series (Part 13)

Song of Songs 5:5-6 (ESV)
I arose to open to my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh,
on the handles of the bolt.
I opened to my beloved,
but my beloved had turned and gone.
My soul failed me when he spoke.
I sought him, but found him not;
I called him, but he gave no answer.Song of Songs 5:5-6
Heart Matter: The Bittersweet emotions

In Song of Songs 5:5-6, the bride describes her hands dripping with myrrh as she opens the door, only to find her beloved is gone. Myrrh, a fragrant perfume, symbolizes her preparation and longing—she’s both physically and emotionally ready to embrace her beloved. But despite her readiness, he is absent, leaving her in a bittersweet moment of longing and disappointment. This scene beautifully captures the emotional landscape of our lives: the joy of connection and the pain of disconnection.

Part of our emotional and spiritual maturity is learning how to navigate these moments of bittersweet tension. Like the bride, we may feel prepared and open to connection, yet find ourselves faced with unmet expectations. But here’s the key lesson: our self-worth is not diminished by the absence or unavailability of another person. The bride’s preparation with myrrh shows her worth and readiness, and even though her beloved was not there, it doesn’t lessen her value. Similarly, the disappointment we feel in relationships or unfulfilled desires should not cause us to question our intrinsic worth.

Emotional boundaries are crucial. Like the locked garden earlier in the Song, we must know when to open the door emotionally and when to step back. You don’t need to fully give yourself emotionally until the relationship is ready for it. This protects your heart while remaining open to connection.

Finally, trust in the process. The absence of connection doesn’t mean the journey is over. Sometimes the person you seek is simply not ready, or able to meet you where you are. Trust that God has a plan, and His timing is always perfect, even when it doesn’t align with our expectations.

Heart application:

Practice emotional boundary-setting by reflecting on a relationship or situation where you may be overly invested. You may consider setting boundaries and asking God to reveal the root cause of your overinvestment. Then, affirm your self-worth as a child of God, not based on others' responses.

Prayer:

Abba father, I surrender my emotions to You. Help me to recognize when I am seeking validation outside of Your love and guide me in setting healthy emotional boundaries. Teach me to trust in Your timing and to find my worth in You alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.