Exposing perfectionism (Part 3)
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
Perfectionists may struggle to rest, but resting in God does not mean doing nothing or being passive. Instead, it is a heart attitude of laying down our burdens and receiving the love of Christ.
Perfectionism that manifests shame, emotional neglect, and wounds may make God's unconditional love difficult to experience. Therefore, the first step is to learn to accept God's grace and love that bring healing and freedom, and not to be obsessed with fixing and being right by doing.
We need to shift our mindset from “I need to fix myself” into “I love myself no matter what”. Let our kind and nurturing self emerge and take over, so our inner critic will gradually walk away from our healing journey. A cure for perfectionism is to accept God's unconditional love and extend unconditional kindness to oneself.
Healing is a process, which is why we need to take our time, not rush, and celebrate every step forward, no matter how big or small. As we slow down and at peace, we can hear from Jesus in our Spirit, telling us with loving and kind words: " My love for you is unconditional. I accept you. I affirm you. I validate you. I love you for who you are.” Jesus even loves our weaknesses, those areas we find least desirable, and He embraces them.
To extend unconditional kindness to ourselves, we can speak nurturing and comforting words and look at ourselves with grace and compassion. As we comfort our friends, we often say, "It's okay not to be okay." We can also extend this grace to ourselves by processing emotions so that we can better understand ourselves and discover our unmet needs. In extending kindness to ourselves, we become stronger and more confident, as we are not beaten down by our flaws and weaknesses, and because love metabolizes pain into strength and resilience. We are weakened by perfectionism, but empowered by unconditional love.
Allow God to heal us by giving Him room and flexibility. The healing process requires us to lay down rigidity and our own agendas. As we walk through our healing journey, it may take time to renew our minds to say nurturing and kind things to ourselves, it may take time to soothe and quiet our inner critic, and it may require people's support to walk with us. In a place of kindness and nurture, love and healing can flourish.
Rather than earning love and pleasing people to fight for our destiny, God's children work from love and acceptance based on our identity. I pray that we have a "no pressure" life by receiving His unconditional love, and we fully rely on God's grace!
Blessing prayer: Be still and rest in the Lord. I thank you for your unconditional love and kindness toward me, in Jesus' name, Amen
