Fear-based false humility (Part 1)

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor. Ephesians 4:25

False humility can easily be associated with a hypocrite like Pharisees whose outward behavior appears selfless, while inwardly the heart conceals self-seeking agendas and self-righteous motives. Nevertheless, some cultural norms and self-defeating mindsets breed false humility rooted in fear. This fear-based false humility is more difficult to spot since it has become so ingrained in our culture and mindset that we think that is humility. 

A number of Asian comedians have created videos that poke fun at their "false humility" culture.” In one clip, a guy tells his friends and relatives he can't play the piano; the next scene shows him playing the masterpiece of a piano virtuoso.

In Chinese, “compliment counter strike” happens very often, such as a person complimenting another person like “Your English is so good”, the receiver needs to deflect or deny the compliment immediately, such as “Not at all, my English is not good.” As if we didn't deny the compliment, we would be seen as arrogant.

Previously, I was guilty of saying this to my guests: "Bear with me if the food doesn't taste good, I'm not a good cook." It seems that we are conditioned to downplay other people's expectations to conform to the cultural norm of "self-effacing modesty". 

In the Bible, it says "Boasting is evil" but why are Chinese "modesty" and East Asian "honorific culture" viewed as "false humility”? According to a study, Chinese and other Asians may appear more humble to Westerners, but their brain waves suggest they might also be as proud or arrogant.

Particularly, Chinese culture exacerbates shame because it is a “comparison culture.” For instance, if we refer to ourselves as weak, that means we elevate others as stronger, but when we praise ourselves, we may refer to others as inferior, and thus shame them. Therefore, Chinese people are prone to downplaying themselves, avoiding attracting attention, and not standing out.

In my opinion, this modesty culture breeds fear of men, so under its influence, words and deeds can be used at pleasing others or at presenting ourselves in a positive image. Rather than pleasing people, true humility is obeying God. In part 2, we'll discuss how false humility can be disguised as unworthiness, while in part 3, we'll examine how cowardice is often embedded in false humility.                

Blessing prayer: Help us not conform to the world, but transform and renew our minds so that we obey you instead of men. In Jesus' name, Amen