Will you tarry me?

Abide in me and I in you. John 15:4 

Does that sound like “will you marry me?”

Tarry is used in the Bible to describe a number of things, and one of them is abide, and Jesus says “abide in me” before His death. The Greek word for abide is meno, which is the same word as tarry in English.

Marriage is one of the relationships involving abiding.  God created marriage to illustrate the unity of church and God as husbands and wives become one flesh.  As my pastor once joked, "If you get married, you will learn how to die". He meant to die to ourselves by crucifying our flesh. This kind of death leads to life, and also is the key to abiding in God. 

As Paul instructs us in Ephesians 5, "Husbands love, and wives submit." Submission is not an easy concept to swallow, but it means to give up one's self to someone else. Also, love means giving oneself up for someone, as Paul writes “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”, so both submission and love entail giving ourselves for each other. As a result of Jesus' love for us and submission to the Father, He died and gave Himself all up for us.

"Will you marry me" could also mean "will you tarry me", for tarrying requires selflessness and sacrificial love to be fully immersed in each other.  Let us say Yes to Jesus by abiding in Him. 

Blessing prayer: Jesus, thank you for giving up yourself and for your unconditional love.  Help us to deny ourselves and submit to you so that we may become one and abide in you forever. In Jesus’ name, Amen.