Embracing the good and the bad
This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 1 Timothy 1:15
When I was learning the piano at a young age, I remember complaining to my mom that the piano teacher was “bad”, so my mom changed to another teacher. The same pattern occurred a few times, and my mom stopped changing because “every time, you would say the teacher was good, and after a while, you would complain about the same teacher being bad."
My immature self saw myself, people, and things as either Good OR Bad, instead of seeing life as both good AND bad. Why is splitting "Good or Bad" considered immature? Due to splitting, we become incapable of tolerating weakness, failure, and even the denial of the existence of good.
For example, if one person displays an undesirable characteristic, such as a drinking problem, immature people immediately draw the conclusion that the person is all "bad" and completely deny the good. Similar to how we see ourselves, like if we make a simple mistake, like overcooking the steak, we think, “it is “bad me”, I am a failure and ruined the dinner".
Unlike "right and wrong," which has an absolute line, such as "don't murder, and don't worship other gods," good and bad are more like a spectrum. A mature view embraces both good and bad through the application of grace and truth. Truth, for example, brings standards, while grace, on the other hand, has a loving and relational quality. The fact that we have too much truth and not enough grace in ourselves, that we fail to meet the standard that our "ideal self" requires, leads us to believe that we are "bad," so we feel guilty, ashamed, and anxious about never being good enough and not embracing our true selves that have both good and bad.
Grace tells us "It's okay to make mistakes, to be kind and accept ourselves." So we can accept ourselves and give ourselves self-compassion. "I forgive myself" is the kindest words we can say to ourselves. When we stop pursuing the "ideal self or reality", we stop attacking and judging ourselves and others, and still extend grace to each other, even bad things happen.
Because God loves us, He embraces the good and the bad in us, which is why He applies grace and truth to us. However, too much grace may lead us to deny the bad, which is also a form of denial that gives us permission to sin, leading to no limits and directionlessness, because sin separates us from God and others.
In John 8, Jesus embraced both the good and bad of the adulterous woman by applying grace to separate her from the Pharisee’s condemnation , while applying truth to her "sin no more", giving her directions that would change her life.
Healing and growth will take place when we both receive and apply grace and truth, as well as possess a mature approach to embracing "good and bad" in ourselves, others, and the world around us.
Blessing prayer: Your truth uproots weeds in our soil when your grace is like love fertilizer enabling us to bear good fruit. In Jesus' name, Amen
