Overcoming shame (Part 1)
Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. Isaiah 54:4
Shame and guilt are not the same thing. We feel guilty when we do something wrong, but shame when we feel bad about who we are. Therefore, guilt refers to "DOING" something wrong, while shame refers to "BEING" something wrong. Since shame attacks our identity, being who we are, it is the devil's favorite weapon.
Guilt is more personal, like when a thief feels guilty about the act of stealing, but some thieves might not necessarily feel guilty about it. As soon as a thief is caught and exposed to the public for stealing, shame occurs because it is seen by others, and it gives them a feeling of being worthless, unacceptable, and having no value to others. Therefore, they deserve to be rejected. Shame is more social. It is about how others see us and it deals with painful emotions when we stand in front of others. This is why people hide when they feel shameful to minimize their pain.
Shame can be a result of past sins, or traumatic events from our past. Particularly when a child has experienced parental neglect or abuse, identity shame may develop. As a result, the child may internalize the idea that they are worthless, never good enough, or unworthy of existence.
People enslaved by shame are constantly apologizing to others for who they are, feeling inadequate, and living under the crippling fear of never measuring up. So they hide, and create walls of protection, hoping no one will see their true selves. They are terrified that others will discover and reject their true selves. As a result, they often present a false persona and usually appear perfect in the hope that others will accept them. There is a deep-seated fear that if others see who they really are, they will feel rejected and disappointed.
I am familiar with the pain of shame and its destructive effects, as I was ashamed of my congenital disability. I struggled with low self-esteem and poor self-image, which I hid from others and was plagued with limited and negative beliefs and other mental issues. By the grace of God I no longer feel ashamed of my disability, and I have flaunted my one-leggedness without shame. While some people are inspired by my change, I know that it was the result of my triumph over shame. In part 2, we will discuss how Jesus took our shame and how He can help us overcome it.
Blessing prayer: May your light expose our shame and turn it into glory! By knowing who we are in Christ, we embrace our true selves. In Jesus’ name, Amen
