Pouring out our souls
But Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. 1 Samuel 1:15
I was recently asked how to deal with disappointment when prayers are unanswered. This is a good question and I believe many believers will think about it at some point. It is disappointing when God doesn't respond as we desire or when He seems silent when we need Him.
Life is beyond our control, but how we respond to it is within our control. We can either accuse God and say “I am done with you!”, or we can surrender and say "Your ways are higher than our ways, your thoughts than our thoughts." Isaiah 55:9
Whenever our hearts grow weary and disappointed, let us cry out to God as Hannah did. Her desire to have a son led her to pray earnestly and cry out to God, so much so that the priest thought she was drunk. And Hannah replied “I pour my soul before the Lord.”
During Hannah's time of pouring out her soul to the Lord, I believe she made two decisions. Her first decision is surrender. Even though she desired a son so God would remove her shame and sadness, a son would not be about her. It would be about her service to God, as she dedicated her son to live his life for the Lord." It is like when Jesus told the father before his crucifixion, "not my will but yours be done."
A second decision she made was to trust God with her pain and desires, leading to peace. It says “after she poured out her heart, her face was no longer sad.” Although Hannah could not guarantee a son, she made a decision, "I choose to trust him," and herein lies the guarantee, the guarantee of peace, that surpasses her understanding.
The process of pouring our soul might not be an instant fix. It might take time as layers of pain peel off like an onion. When we let God walk with us through our disappointments and express our honest feelings to Him, God will transform them into peace, just like Hannah's peace and surrender.
Blessing prayer: May we pour out our souls to you for you to turn our disappointment into peace and faith in you. Even though we don't understand, we trust your goodness and perfect timing. In Jesus' name, Amen
